Around the World in 80 Days

Day 23: 17 October

There's no doubt about it, Kasim's feet are precision instruments, even if they are applied rather ruthlessly, and inasmuch as I can no longer remember which parts of my body hurt before he began, he's been successful. As he was busy re-aligning my spine, and Passepartout, with a certain amount of sadistic relish, was recording my cries, the prospect of a new form of TV chat show occurred to me, in which the host would talk to famous people whilst walking on them.

We are 200 miles from Bombay. Ron gloomily observes that this is the distance from which planes begin their descent into Bombay airport. Our approach is going to take two days. I must say that I am now beginning to feel very Ronnish. A dhow is not a good place to feel unwell - there really is nowhere to go and lick the wounds. The thought of Bombay, bed and bath seems irresistibly attractive.

The captain is concerned about me. 'You are sick, sick man,' he says and orders me to be brought his patent remedy, a glass of 7-Up with drops of lemon, knocked back in one go. This causes me to belch thunderously, after which all is well for a while.

Evening. Have not eaten today and worst of all the Glenmorangie has lost its attraction, so I am ill-prepared for the news that I shall not be in my bed in Bombay tomorrow night after all. The reason is that we shall reach Bombay at 7 in the evening and the Indian customs (keeping British Raj hours) close at 5. The captain does not want to spend the night in a busy harbour and is proposing we cut speed and wait a few miles out, dragging out our final approach until the morning of Wednesday October 19. I'm now likely to be a week behind Fogg at Bombay. I've lost so much time since Suez that an extra day doesn't seem to matter any more. By the law of averages we must have some good luck too.

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PALIN'S GUIDES

Series: Around the World in 80 Days
Day: 23
Date: 17 October
Country/sea: Indian Ocean
Place: Arabian Sea
Book page no: 83

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Dubai - Madras