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THE CHATTER BOX

 
  
  
  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
  
  
  
 
Messages 1 2 

The Saddest News by pandab on 8 May 2007 4:47am
 
At least the news is the saddest for my family and I.

My father passed away early this morning.

He had gone into the hospital two weeks ago for his second chemo treatment for the brain tumor, but he didn't tolerate it as well as the first one. On Saturday last week, his heart began giving trouble again, and his doctor transferred him to CCU. Unfortunately, he never really responded to treatment, and on Wednesday, everything turned sour. By Friday morning, he was unresponsive, and his oncologist spoke to my brother and I. Even should a miracle occur, and he pulled through this crisis, he wouldn't be able to continue chemo or radiation, so the tumor would have consumed him in the end anyway.

Based on that conversation, as well as the wishes Dad had voiced to us, we decided to withdraw treatment and adopt a "comfort care" strategy. My brother and I stayed with him, and this morning, he slipped away.

While I loathe losing my father--not to mention my best friend--I consider him and my brother and I blessed in many ways. First, Dad died with dignity and as much peace as we and the hospital staff could give him. At the end, he gave a final sigh and was gone, just as easily as if he had stepped through a doorway, which in a way he did.

Second, Dad had given us explicit instructions in a Medical Directive on what we were to do should this situation ever happen. While the decision was gut-wrenching, my brother and I have the comfort of knowing we did what he wanted.

Third, Dad never "lost" himself. I had researched the final stages for brain tumor patients, and trust me, there really are uglier things that death. At it happened, he was able to leave us as himself.

A piece of advice to everyone ... No one wants to think about their death or the death of a loved one, but I can speak from personal experience that, as distasteful as it is, it is SO much better to spare yourself and your family the agony of such a decision by preparing a Living Will or Medical Directive. It will not make the loss any easier, but it will at least give you and your family the solace of knowing what the "right" decision is. I am deeply grateful to my father for doing that for my brother and I.

I want to thank everyone here at Palin's Travels for your kind and supportive posts. I will continue to be mostly absent for a couple more weeks as my brother and I begin to settle Dad's estate, but I'll be back soon!

Pandab
 
Re: The Saddest News by kazzzz on 8 May 2007 4:50am
 
So sorry to hear such sad news, I've heard three very sad things since yesterday:( Treasure your memories and I'm glad you and your brother have eachother for support :)
 
Re: The Saddest News by tucsonmike on 8 May 2007 5:34am
 
Sorry to hear that. I know how difficult your journey with that was.

I am already thinking about it. A childhood friend wrote and said, my parents are not as well as they have been telling us.
 
Re: The Saddest News by Lounge Trekker on 8 May 2007 5:46am
 
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Donna.

Pete
 
Re: The Saddest News by Markysek on 8 May 2007 9:04am
 
I am sorry for death of your father. It had to be very difficult to see his health difficulties till his death. I know that you won't see him anymore and it saddens you. But you must be strong and have in your memories the moments when he was healthy and great. And you must imagine that now he feels better because his pain was terrible.

Marky
 
Re: The Saddest News by Spursfan on 8 May 2007 9:40am
 
I am so sorry to hear of your sad loss.

My thoughts are with you.

Anne
 
Re: The Saddest News by johnnythemonkey on 8 May 2007 9:48am
 
My condolences to you and your family, Donna.
John.
 
Re: The Saddest News by xariesgirl78x on 8 May 2007 10:31am
 
I'm so sorry to hear that! My thoughts and prayers are with you too. You have my deepest sympathy.
 
Re: The Saddest News by perfectbitch on 8 May 2007 1:21pm
 
My sincere condolences. Thank goodness the experience was peaceful. I am thinking of you.

Linz
 
Re: The Saddest News by canaveralgumby on 8 May 2007 4:28pm
 
panda, you & yours have my sincerest sympathy. No more pain for him, he's free and among loved ones, and you've got to trust me on this one, Dad is still going to take care of you, you'll see it in many ways.
 
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