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THE CHATTER BOX

 
  
  
  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
  
  
  
 
Messages 1 2 

Employment History !!! by Diamond on 5 February 2004 1:02pm
 

Employment History
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got
canned. Couldn't concentrate.

""Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack
it, and so they gave me the axe."" (is that why Michael !!??)

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it,
mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too
exhausting.

Then I tried to be a chef. I figured it would add a little spice to
my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but, any way I sliced it, I couldn't
cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't
note worthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any
patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman but discovered that I couldn't live
on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company,
but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit
for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as
a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it
was always the same old grind.

SO I RETIRED . . .. AND I FOUND I AM JUST PERFECT FOR THE JOB!!



 
Re: Employment History !!! by Clare on 5 February 2004 2:31pm
 
So much for a job for life! How long do you have too wait before you can retire???
Clare
 
Re: Employment History !!! by tominator_49 on 5 February 2004 5:58pm
 
Interesting story.
I once worked in a saw factory. But I just wasn't coping.
 
Re: Employment History !!! by tominator_49 on 5 February 2004 6:00pm
 
I also worked in a cafe, but it wasn't my cup of tea.
 
Re: Employment History !!! by George on 5 February 2004 6:51pm
 
Stop, (wiping tears) this is too good!
 
Re: Employment History !!! by peripatetically on 5 February 2004 8:29pm
 
I was a farmer once, but it only paid chicken feed.
 
Re: Employment History !!! by Godfather on 5 February 2004 9:31pm
 
Had to have a go. Here are some i've thought up.


"As a teen, i considered a career as boxer. But after one loss as an amateur, i decided to quit and take defeat on the chin".

"Things got much better later when i commited to marriage with my true love on a cricket pitch. Previously i'd been notorious around our town for playing the field".

"When our relationship took a downslide. I took a short term job as a gynaecologist. But i was eventually caught for having far too many fingers in the pie".

"Took one assignment as a geologist. But they said the background of my upbringing was too 'upper crust' for their liking".

"So i set out to find the great outdoors. Did some field work Paleontology in new Mexico. But some of the older women on my team were a right bunch of dinosaurs".

"The time for reckless living was over. So i tried out as a Lawyer. But during the interview, they said i had to learn to stop being so defensive about everything".

"To get in touch with my feminine side, i did a brief stint as a "Ballet dancers" promoter during the summer of 2002. I kept them on their toes,i can tell ya".

"Feeling i lacked a certain empathy with those around me. I signed up for a demanding job in the rough neighbourhood of a local city. In the role of a "Race relations officer" . The workings of that job were anything but Black and white, i can tell you".

"Realizing my life was worthless. I decided to begin looking out for the next generation instead. A local school hired me as a "Multiple choice test" writer. By that stage, i'd run out of other options".

"But in a last ditch attempt to rescue my dignity and machismo. I joined our local Fire Brigade. They made me reduntant though. They felt i could'nt take the heat".

"In the end, a life of prostitution seemed the only option left open to me. But alas, i was fired for lying around on the job".

"Destitute and begging for money. I was rescued from a life of poverty by a local council road sweeper. I brushed the offer aside"

"So without any further reason for living. I signed up for a swedish 'porn video' shoot,called "Fellatio Fantasy". That stage of my life was a bitter pill to swallow, i tell ya".

Now that i'm older and wiser. I now run a watch repair shop. I dont know how i find the time though.

 
Re: Employment History !!! by tominator_49 on 6 February 2004 2:44pm
 
ha ha
 
Re: Employment History !!! by peripatetically on 6 February 2004 3:39pm
 
One rather rewarding job I had was as an assistant to a neonatologist . I assisted with circumcisions and got all the tips!
 
Re: Employment History !!! by peripatetically on 6 February 2004 3:49pm
 
One rather rewarding job I had was as an assistant to a neonatologist . I assisted with circumcisions and got all the tips!
 
Messages 1 2 




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