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THE CHATTER BOX

 
  
  
  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
  
  
  
 
Messages 1 2 3 4 

Europe English :) by kristinekm on 2 June 2005 6:10pm
 
Europe English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen world!
 
Re: Europe English :) by bsh1878 on 2 June 2005 6:14pm
 
oh my god, why doesn't Brussels go and fornicate with a Kenwood blender and leave us alone.
Bruce.
 
Re: Europe English :) by jim on 2 June 2005 8:57pm
 
Good one Kristinekm. For a second I thought it was true.
 
Re: Europe English :) by kristinekm on 2 June 2005 9:44pm
 
I think that is the fun part about it. I kind of hoped that you would realize it was a joke due to the smiley in the headline instead of spoiling it by starting to explain that the following text is a joke :)

If you watched "Allo, Allo" I think you will find some officers with that accent, now it's up to you to guess which country that accent originates from :)
 
Re: Europe English :) by bsh1878 on 2 June 2005 11:11pm
 
on this one mate, why don't you go and fornicate with a Kenwood blender.
Bruce.
 
Re: Europe English :) by Spursfan on 2 June 2005 11:21pm
 
Omigod, here we go again!!! Trollism raises its ugly head once again in the guise of 'Say "NO!".

Anne
 
Re: Europe English :) by ursi on 3 June 2005 12:06am
 
"Lets not divert from the real issue here"

Right. The real issue here was a joke, wasn't it? So why don't you go and look for your sense of humor, cause you don't seem to have it with you at this time...
 
Re: Europe English :) by KateC on 3 June 2005 12:16am
 
Well personally I found it quite funny! I was also thinking of the accents in 'Allo 'Allo whilst reading that last paragraph! :D

To 'Say no', EP, whatever your name is... I'm sure Kristine meant it as a joke, meaning absolutely no harm, and I think you are the only person on this site taking offence...

Also on a sidenote... Kristine isn't being disloyal to her country since she isn't even from England...

Hmm :/ Anyway.. I'm going to now ignore the trolls who are obviously trying to bring politics back to PT by the looks of the main Blathering On page...
 
Re: Europe English :) by kristinekm on 3 June 2005 12:32am
 
IT WAS A JOKE, OKAY

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AGAINST THE ENGLISH QUEEN

IT WAS ONLY A JOKE - CAN'T YOU SEE

By the way I also support the Danish queen whom I am very proud of being a subject of. The Danish monarchy is the oldest still exiting in the world and I wish for its future the best of luck.

I you have further doubts of my JOKE I found it here http://www.ahajokes.com/ (which by the way have a lot of other FUN stuff)

I am terribly sorry if I offended anybody, I had no intention of doing so!!!!

Talking about illegality, where I come from it is illegal to make false accusations against somebody.
 
Re: Europe English :) by bsh1878 on 3 June 2005 12:34am
 
it's only kristine, the twats are back and even I got caught out
Bruce.
 
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