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  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
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Thanks for the Distraction by canaveralgumby on 31 July 2009 11:03pm
Hi all.

I have been going through a kind of hell since May and this, “Blathering On,” was one of the places I kept out of it, one of my “happy places” where I could come and NOT be a woman whose husband left her.

Some of you may remember one of my first postings here – “Did anyone else marry a Michael so you wouldn’t say the wrong name in during sex?” Oh, I thought that was so damned funny! Well, I won’t have that worry anymore.

My Michael said, on 5/22, “Hey, pal, let’s go out to lunch, I’ve got to talk to you about something,” with cheer in his voice. What would you think, he’d gotten a raise? He proceeded to tell me, in a crowded diner, that he “just doesn’t want to be married anymore.” He “needs to live alone.” Just like that. And in the first few weeks of shock, trauma, fear and denial, he tried to convince ME to move out of our house.

BTW we’ve been together 20 years, legally married 18. And I adopted his son (making him MY son, not step-son or foster) and we took his elderly mother in 4 years ago and I took all care of her while she lived here. And I have Multiple Sclerosis.

Until I was able to gather together, from friends and family, an attorney’s retainer fee (just a few weeks ago), I didn’t really know what my rights were, or what F***head was capable of doing to me legally. Also, he seemed mentally unstable and I didn’t know if he’d quit his job and go move to a shack in Idaho. No offence to Idahoans.

He’s tried to frustrate me into being the one to file for divorce, all the while, I have been trying desperately to get him to go to counseling with me. In short, he’s been trying to get me to take actions which would cost me alimony. He (and his attorney?) have been evil geniuses and it’s been like living in a Kafka novel, a nightmare from which I could not wake up.

Then on the evening before the day he moved out, there was a romantic, not at all platonic email between him and a female co-worker. A married, detoxing, trainwreck of a woman from what I can determine. Well, I didn’t eat for a week after that. I believe, since F***head does computer network security for a LIVING and is PUBLISHED about it, he left this up on his computer screen facing our bedroom door on purpose, ya think?

Well, he’s out. Got a 2 bedroom apartment, moved his mother in with him. Now he will do all her care. Tell me how this accomplishes “being alone.” What he really wanted was to break up with me, fell out of love with me, that’s the long and short of it.

HIS loss. I was faithful and true and dedicated to him. He’s a schmuck. He’s just done some future man (with MS? in a wheelchair?) a great service. F***head.

So I think I’m getting into a better head space every day. It’s like, 2 months is a short time, but 2 months have been an eternity…

I am throwing this out to the universe, and the support I have received has been wonderful. I have amassed a lot of friends I didn’t even realize. But I will accept all support from all comers (and whatever comments I get from JTM!).

Again, all you Palinites, thanks for the distraction here, I needed it. -- Cori
Re: Thanks for the Distraction by johnnythemonkey on 31 July 2009 11:55pm
Cori, I'm really sorry to hear that. You've been really brave in how you've coped thus far and it was brave of you to post here.
I read your post out to Meg ( hope you don't mind. ) and her reaction was " Bastard. What goes around comes around, he'll get his comeuppance. "
I couldn't have put it better myself.

Thoughts and hugs,
Re: Thanks for the Distraction by peripatetically on 1 August 2009 12:17am
Cori, all I can say is that this is making you so much stronger and you are better off without this creep. Believe me, this is a story very familair to many women. I know that isn't making it any easier, but going through so much after giving of yourself for so long, it can only make you a better and stronger person in the end. Once you get your feet back under you again, you will see. Hang in there and know I support you in this hellish journey. I know it's a lonely feeling now but time will bring you peace. Lots of hugs are coming your way.

Re: Thanks for the Distraction by kazzzz on 1 August 2009 12:46am
Ohhh. Cori I'm' so sorry to hear this and yes it IS his loss. I have to say also, that Palins Travels helped me through my long and traumatic divorce and numerous other traumas (and still does). As a few of you know, I may be happy-go-lucky here but my life is a pretty big rollercoaster ( as I'm sure many Palinite's lives are) and has been for years.
Feel free to vent here anytime you like, I'll be the first to respond! And Pats is right it is lonely and you will freel like it will never be resolved or over, but it will be, it really will. Just now you will be going thru a huge amount of different emotions, changing all day every day. Lean on your friends and family Cori, they will be invaluable support.

I feel that now is a good time to give you TWO creme eggs :)

K xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Cori it IS good to be able to come here and 'escape'.
Re: Thanks for the Distraction by Spursfan on 1 August 2009 12:58am
Cori I am sending lots of hugs your way. I don't really know what to say (I'm HOPELESS in situations like this) but here goes - you have always seemed a strong person and you are proving that by the way you are coping. Well I know that there have probably been times when you HAVEN'T felt as if you were coping, that's only natural, but really for every step you've gone backwards you've taken two forwards (omigod what a cliche, sorry about that!!).

I am glad that you have found comfort in reading 'Blathering on'. For goodness sake you have enough to cope with, with the MS, without all this as well.

Thinking of you.

Anne xx
Re: Thanks for the Distraction by suzulu on 1 August 2009 1:13am
So sorry to hear of the trauma going on in your life, Cori. It must have been a terrible shock. I am so glad that you are able to stay in your house. Of course, he should be the one to move out!

Hard though it is, try and keep calm and focused to see you through this.

You are better off without him!

Lots of hugs.

Re: Thanks for the Distraction by elina on 1 August 2009 4:37am
All the best, Cori! You're a strong person; I'm sure you will come out of this as a winner.


- Elina
Re: Thanks for the Distraction by Lounge Trekker on 1 August 2009 6:38am
Yes, you are brave, Cori. Yes, your life will be good again. Now you can do everything your way. You have always been You, that hasn't changed!

Re: Thanks for the Distraction by kazzzz on 1 August 2009 7:59am
Well said Pete that's so true.
Re: Thanks for the Distraction by perfectbitch on 1 August 2009 1:48pm
Oh Cori! What a devastating shock! Why is it that most men just can't face being honest when having to deal with emotional issues and motivations? That kind of evasion is what I expect from spotty, monosyllabic, male adolescents. It's true - they never grow up! I really want to swear now!!!

I know that you are strong - please don't let any anger turn inward - use it as motivation.

Lots of love to you.

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