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  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
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love by arty_farty on 1 December 2007 12:20am
why is love so bloody confusing? is it normal to be afraid of it?
Re: love by MMMmmm... on 1 December 2007 1:16am
I think it depends on the kind of love you're talking about... Romantic love often scares people, especially in the beginning... other love is pretty safe and good especially when it's unconditional!!!! (That's the best!)
Re: love by MMMmmm... on 1 December 2007 1:20am
Most all people (except for certain criminals, etc.) deserve unconditional love, and would be better off for it!
Re: love by Lounge Trekker on 1 December 2007 1:41am
Wouldn't unconditional love be nice?

Lounge Trekker
Re: love by tucsonmike on 1 December 2007 3:34am
Would be nice.
Re: love by mrsthing on 1 December 2007 4:09am
As long as it's not enabling self-destructive behaviors.
Re: love by mrsthing on 1 December 2007 4:11am
But to answer your question, arty, yes, it is normal to be afraid of it. It's powerful, our self esteem is all wrapped up in it, and if we lose the love somehow, it hurts like hell. There's a lot at stake, and that fear is telling you to make sure the person you give your heart (and other bits) to will cherish the gift.
Re: love by Lounge Trekker on 1 December 2007 5:14am
You even scare ME, mrsthing, and I am a full grown man!

All true, arty, but if the tie gets severed, you must look away and regroup. Love him, if he loves you back...right on! If he stops loving you back, you still have your own life to live, he'll either call or you'll pull a different onion.

I love you, arty.

Lounge Alium
Re: love by MMMmmm... on 1 December 2007 8:45am
Unconditional love is very important because the histories and details of our human lives are so very intricate and complex - life is hard for everyone in different ways. Judging and criticizing each other just makes it worse. It's like adding insult to injury. Too many people use love as a reward or punishment system - this is unhealthy for everyone involved. The truth is that behavior is not truly love - it's manipulation.

If people really received the unconditional love they need at the times they need it in their lives - they wouldn't have self-destructive behaviors. Most self-destructive behaviors come from feelings of lack of love.

Unconditional love is not unconditional approval of all behavior. But it involves separating the person from the behavior, and not punishing the person for the behavior. When people feel good and loved, they make good decisions. When they feel bad and unloved, they make bad decisions. They act out how bad(ly) they feel.

Love is not just a matter of lip-service. Often people say "I love you" and act in very unloving ways. People need to give love to be loving - or else it's not felt, not experienced. It would be like talking about food and not actually giving it, saying "I will provide you with food." And then not providing any, but instead giving the person a kick in the pants, and saying to them, "I give you food, but why can't you do everything the way I think you should?" When you didn't actually provide them with food.
Love is the most important form of emotional nourishment. Everyone needs it. Babies die without it.

Most of the dysfunction, depression, addiction, and unhappiness in the world come from a lack of true unconditional love.

So I offer you mine:

Much, Much Love!
Re: love by kazzzz on 1 December 2007 11:25am
Artster I luv ya and I'm not afraid to say it!

And yup love IS scary!!!
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