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  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
Messages 1 2 

Should you EXPECT thanks??? by Spursfan on 15 December 2010 11:07am
We have sent our 4 eldest grandchildren and our Gt Grandaughter money as we shall not see them over Xmas - well we shall see the 2 eldest on the Monday.

The 2 youngest (not counting Alfie) live in Kent with their Mom, our daughter, and Stepdad, and she (our daughter) has thanked me on their behalf because she'll give them the money on the day. Ebony (12) and Tamzin (10) usually send us a lovely email message after Xmas thanking us.

Our 2 eldest have also received the money (it was sent recorded) but so far we have had no thanks - it was received on Saturday.

They are on FB and have mobiles so there is no excuse.

Zak thinks this is terrible, almost inforgivable, a cardinal sin and that if we don't get thanks we won't send them anything next year. He was always made to sit down and write thank you letters as a kid/teen.

In my opinion you shouldn't EXPECT thanks.

I say if you are the reciever, YES you SHOULD always thank someone for a gift, but as a giver you should give for the pleasure and because you love or think a lot of the person, NOT for thanks.

Yes I have to say I feel a bit disappointed in them (they're 18 and nearly 20 so they know very well what they should be doing).

They are staying over from Monday 27th - I'm hoping this isn't going to cause an atmosphere.

What does everyone think?
Re: Should you EXPECT thanks??? by johnnythemonkey on 15 December 2010 12:09pm
Maybe you should'nt have sent them old Turkish lira. :)
Re: Should you EXPECT thanks??? by kazzzz on 15 December 2010 12:42pm
That's kids today Anne. They want it all.
Re: Should you EXPECT thanks??? by Loretto on 15 December 2010 12:44pm
I think Zak is correct Anne. No body owes us anything so when a gift is given it is out of love and appreciation. Thanking someone is a small act in comparison to going out of your way to send the gift/money. But unfortunately they are at that age where their parents can't sit them down and say write that thank you note to Anne and Zak. Maybe you could inquire politely by email or facebook if they got their cards and see if that gets a thank you?
Re: Should you EXPECT thanks??? by Spursfan on 15 December 2010 2:54pm
Thank you all for your responses.

Loretto they live independently of parents now, so it is THEIR choice. They maybe haven't even thought of it, but that's sadly what this generation is like (do I sound an old f**t? Hope not).

I am holding back from asking if they've recieved it (though I know they did as I checked online (recorded) - it should come from THEM, they shouldn't be nudged into it.

We brought them up full-time from when the eldest was 10 until she was about 14; her bro 9 until 13 or thereabouts because our daughter had problems. It was about 5 years of mostly hell anyway. They were damaged kids in a sense and the eldest was THE teenager from hell!! We'd also had them for about 6 months when the eldest was 4 and her bro about 3.

Of course Sophie now has her own two-and-a-half year old, and expecting another in February so I would've thought she especially would have realised the right thing to do.

Reading this back, they sound awful but they are and have been really lovely kids (Sophie was especially sweet as a child) - both really loving (and NEEDING love).

They've just been really annoying as teens!!


Johnny - if we did that and they had any sense, they would be asking us to change it at the going rate or more next time we're in Turkey!!
Re: Should you EXPECT thanks??? by suzulu on 15 December 2010 4:26pm
You should be thanked for sending them gifts!
Re: Should you EXPECT thanks??? by mrsteabag on 16 December 2010 11:10pm
I gave up on buying gifts or having anything to do with celebrating Christmas. Between no one (either adults or children) saying "please, thank you, kiss my a**" over my holiday dinners and finding out that my well-intended but low tech gifts weren't appreciated, I placed a pox on it, and just got gift cards. And find creative ways to get out of family gatherings. :P I am freaking done with it.
Re: Should you EXPECT thanks??? by kazzzz on 17 December 2010 4:41am
I'm kind of in the middle. I'm pretty over all the family bullshit, being forced to spend time with people that don't want to see you nor do you want to see them, the overeating, the presents we can't afford.

but then there's Ava looking at the whole thing in wonder and amazement through her brand new eyes. That's pretty good.

This Christmas is hard. We have had our truck that we have been paying off for two years reposessed, have lost everything we put into it, at this time we have no income. We can't claim any benefits for 6 weeks. There aren't many jobs about so really, to us at the moment, there are more important things happening than overpriced presents.
Re: Should you EXPECT thanks??? by johnnythemonkey on 17 December 2010 5:01am
@ Karen. This will be Ava's best Christmas so far. You know that she so reminds me of my girls, particularly the Rascal, at that age.
I know you don't have to count your blessings Karen, she's right there in front of you. xxx
Re: Should you EXPECT thanks??? by Spursfan on 17 December 2010 10:24am
Just on here very briefly, so will just update this.

Spoke to Simon yesterday on FB, and said we were disappointed that they hadn't thanked us. His reply? They are saving them until Xmas Day.

Ok, but couldn't they have just said 'We've had the cards, thank you Nan and Bobba' ??

I'm sure it wasn't deliberate though - they just don't think these days.

But manners don't cost anything, do they?!!

[Kazzzz I'll write to you later when I have time!!]

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