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THE CHATTER BOX

 
  
  
  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
  
  
  
 
Why would anyone want to learn English? by Miss-M on 3 April 2003 6:36am
 
Here is another amusing email I received the other day. It really makes you sympathise with people of non-English speaking backgrounds who endeavour to learn English!!

Cheers,
Michelle :)

Why would anyone want to learn English?

------------------------------------

This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. It was passed on by a linguist, original author unknown. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers, but be sure to read aloud. Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:



1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He'd be able to lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the ! dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

 
Re: Why would anyone want to learn English? by Mac on 3 April 2003 2:13pm
 
Agggggghhhhhhhhhh Michelle how could you do this!!!
Now I,m totally confused.
But seriously the english language is very peculiar indeed, is it not ?

MAC xxx
 
Re: Why would anyone want to learn English? by xine on 3 April 2003 6:49pm
 
Hey Michelle, this is so interesting!
I love such stuff. do post more if you have any. DO hope the other Palinites do not mind. If they do, I'll request for them via email.
Christine
 
Re: Why would anyone want to learn English? by xine on 3 April 2003 6:54pm
 
Oh by the way, the Chinese language is confusing in about the same way because one sound can mean several words. We have 4 tones - so a sound like 'xin' (Hanyu Pinyin) in first tone can mean heart, new, fishy. but the written word is different.
 
Re: Why would anyone want to learn English? by Louise on 3 April 2003 7:01pm
 
Interesting! Remember the bit in 80Days where M is in Japan, having it explained to him about the different tones [see above]. But I think Japanese is even more complex than Chinese in that respect?
 
Re: Why would anyone want to learn English? by xine on 4 April 2003 5:44am
 
Hi Louise
I suppose Japanese is more difficult than Chinese, because it's a combination of sounds that make a word, and each sound has a written form, so a word with meaning consists of 2-5 (?) characters. Maybe I should learn Japanese - it's nearer to the Chinese language.
 
Re: Why would anyone want to learn English? by Miss-M on 4 April 2003 2:07pm
 
Glad you found it interesting - I thought it was something different, anyway. Reading that list certainly makes you aware of how complex the English language is!

Cheers,
Michelle :)
 



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