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  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
Urban Dictionary by Spursfan on 27 January 2010 10:38am
I just found this definition of my home town in (on?) the Urban Dictionary. It is quite funny - most of it is true, but not the 'gay' bits - oh and the Staffordshire Knot is really alledged to have originated from when they wanted to hang 3 men at once - nothing to do with gay sex (I don't think!!) hahaha!!

"Stafford is the county town of Staffordshire, situated between Wolverhampton and Stoke-on-Trent in the West Midlands.

It was originally a market town based on the industry of shoe-making, and contains some of Britain's most interesting landmarks, such as: Victoria Park, the Elizabethan Ancient High House and the Shire Hall Art and Exhibition Gallery.

Stafford first became (in)famous during the 2001 census, where it finally topped Brighton as housing the UK's largest homosexual-population. The wider borough of Stafford has a population of ~124,531- approximately 87% of which are open homosexuals, 10% are "just fans" of the Paul'O'Grady Show, and the remaining 3% inconclusive/ bisexual.

Stafford is also home to a wide variety of educational institutions, boasting over 17 primary schools, 7 high schools, and various other tertiary facilities. Most of these facilities teach homosexuality-lessons (cleverly disguised as drama and PE), keeping to the society's very open, welcoming and understanding nature towards gays, with their slogan: 'If it ain't gay, don't fix it!'

The 'Staffordshire Knot' is used as the town's symbol, derived from a sexual position/ act of foreplay intended for gay men - conceived locally over 100 years ago.

Man: Hey what the f*** are you doing, stop touching me there!

Staffordian: Don't worry, sir. I'm from Stafford.

Man: Oh, in that case, please be my guest and partake in gay sex with me."

Should I feel insulted as a Staffordian? Haven't got time - I have to go and watch my recordings of the Paul O'Grady Show.

Re: Urban Dictionary by bIG bLOGGER on 27 January 2010 4:49pm
Methinks some naughty folks out there be having a larf at the expense of we upright respectable honest workaday Staffordians.

The true number of gays [m/f] in Stafford has never been authenticated,but is guessed at around between 4 and 10% of the town pop. of around 80,000.
Some enterprising person opened a gay pub in the town and called it VISION,but it has now closed for lack of interest. So as a town community,we are not so gay after all.

Re: Urban Dictionary by Spursfan on 27 January 2010 7:48pm
And methinks it might be the work of a Stokey b-b (for the uninitiated, a person from Stoke-on-Trent) !!

On second thoughts there are far too many words of more than 2 syllables so it can't have been!


[I'm not being Stokeyist - Staffordians are always saying that Stokeys are thick. I didn't used to say that, but since listening to people ringing the local radio station, Radio Stoke, I have changed my mind!!

There was once a sort of competition on a Sunday, called 'What's on my crusty Cob' or something like that! The presenter would start out saying she had for example butter and ham, and the listeners had to guess the other ingredients, perhaps lettuce, tomato and salad cream etc, usually 6 ingredients I think. Except they wouldn't necessarily be as easy as that!

One week we were listening to it as we drove in the car somewhere, and I think there had been a meat base, ham or something, and someone had correctly guessed mustard, when this woman came on the line. 'What's on my crusty cob'
asked the presenter. 'JELLY?' (meaning the UK meaning of course) said the woman. 'Er well we've had ham and mustard so far, so have another guess what might be on my crusty cob?'. Pause. 'Custard?' !!!!

I rest my case.]

Re: Urban Dictionary by bIG bLOGGER on 28 January 2010 2:58pm
Staffysher Words and Phrases Messageboard (1)

---a fascinating look at local S-O-T dialect words and phrases,all blogged in by local people in their own fashion.
Re: Urban Dictionary by Loretto on 29 January 2010 1:55pm
Tried the link bIG and no sign of Staffysher Words....
Re: Urban Dictionary by Loretto on 29 January 2010 1:57pm
FYI do ye have the phrase "Yer man" the Irish use it when referring to someone whose name they can't remember...You've probably read Bill Bryson's book The Mother Tongue.
Re: Urban Dictionary by bIG bLOGGER on 29 January 2010 2:21pm
Loretto: Sorry to hear you had a problem with the Link. It worked for me: when you get to the bbc website,just type in the sentence:: "Staffysher Words(etc).." in the Search Box,and this should bring up the article,where there are reams of Staffysher words to see.
Re: Urban Dictionary by Spursfan on 29 January 2010 8:29pm
I've had a quick look at it b-b and don't know many of the words as they are mainly Stokie ones! Some that they claim for Stoke are really from anywhere I think, for example we say something is "fridging" if it was irritating you (like a woolie jumper); we use 'cobby' (mardy) and 'nesh' (feeling the cold) and it isn't just Stokies who are forever saying "I aren't"!! "Going round the wrekin" (the long way round) is also very common here.

For non-Staffordians, the big red thing you catch to go into town is called a BUZZ here, though I have called it a BUS since I began high school. My sister was telling me at Christmas that back home in NZ she was telling someone about catching the BUZZ and they said 'the WHAT?'!! She was very embarrassed and said 'oh I mean the bus!!'.

When we visit our Yorkshire friends there are a few times I have to say 'eh?'!! The weirdest (to us) is that instead of saying for example "I'm going to be out until 5" they say "I'm going to be out WHILE 5". !! Or "I had to wait in for the plumber WHILE 6 o'clock".

I love dialects, me.

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