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THE CHATTER BOX

 
  
  
  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
  
  
  
 
And now, a word from our sponsor... by canaveralgumby on 6 November 2003 6:50pm
 
The [old?] MP interview with Parkinson, which aired on BBCAmerica a few weeks ago, was sponsored in part by Bidet Ole! NOT making this up. What more perfect sponsor could there be? Here is a transcript from our sponsor. You can imagine this in the female models' voices, or better yet, you can just hear MP himself narrating:

perky model #1: "You'll find one in practically every hotel room in Europe! They're becoming more and more common in America! Yet it's a subject we rarely discuss. I'm talking about a bidet. And since it's the best thing you can get for personal hygeine, I think we SHOULD talk about it. Especially now, because now you don't HAVE to spend a fortune, you don't HAVE to install a whole new fixture, and you don't even need a plumber! At long last, there's Bidet Ole! [image of product, sort of a Shower Massage on a long wand, floating on clear blue water] You install it yourself, right in your own toilet!"

perky model #2: "If I knew having a bidet was this easy, I would have gotten one a long time ago! Bidet Ole is GREAT!"

voice of 1st model: "Bidet Ole attaches quickly and easily to the freshwater outlet that serves your toilet. [image of beautifully manicured hand installing product] No special plumbing skills are required.

To use Bidet Ole, you simply sit on the toilet, and press the pressure button to your precise comfort level. One simple button controls the pressure through these specially designed holes [all four speeds are demonstrated].

model #3, who is darker and more sultry than the first two: "Bidet Ole not only keeps me clean and fresh - it's really ENJOYABLE!"

cut to "Alicia Salland, M.D., who reads from the cue card like Chrisotpher Walken: "Regular use of a bidet is a safe and effective way to promote feminine hygeine. It can also significantly reduce the incidence of infection. Bidet Ole is a perfect way to get all the benefits of a bidet without having to install one."

perky model #4: "This is like, one of the world's best kept secrets! Now that I've tried Bidet Ole, I KNOW I'll keep using it!" [Fast, almost subliminal text scrolls by this model, saying, among other things, "reduces risk of STD's," and "helps reduce hemorrhoid discomfort"]

back to model #1: "How 'bout you? Isn't it time YOU experienced the comfort and PLEASURE of Bidet Ole?.....Bidet Ole comes with a "no questions asked!", 30-day money back guarantee!....."

I just have one question. If you DO request your money back, they don't want the used Bidet Ole returned to them, do they? I mean, don't ANYBODY buy one of these things two months from now!
 
Re: And now, a word from our sponsor... by Ken Dunn on 17 May 2009 5:33pm
 
I was doing a random click on old pages in Blathering On (this comes from Page 124) and found that there are a lot of duplicated threads back in that era. Do the rest of you have duplicate threads around page 124, 131 etc.? If so it would be an idea for the Webmaster to delete the duplicates and free up memory space in the computer which hosts the website.
 
Re: And now, a word from our sponsor... by johnnythemonkey on 17 May 2009 6:35pm
 
You really worry about such things, don't you Ken ? I in turn, worry about you.
 
Re: And now, a word from our sponsor... by Ken Dunn on 17 May 2009 9:23pm
 
I'm not really worrying about the duplicate threads; it's just that if MATRON finds out she'll have a fit! Can you imagine having two patients for every hospital bed?!
 
Re: And now, a word from our sponsor... by peripatetically on 17 May 2009 11:13pm
 
Depends on who my bedmate would be, Ken! HAHAHAA
 
Re: And now, a word from our sponsor... by johnnythemonkey on 18 May 2009 6:28am
 
In the Monklands Hospital it's usually three in a bed.....and two of them are nurses ! ;)
MATRON would be shocked....she always sleeps alone.
 
Re: And now, a word from our sponsor... by peripatetically on 18 May 2009 2:47pm
 
Male nurses? ;)
 
Re: And now, a word from our sponsor... by johnnythemonkey on 18 May 2009 3:38pm
 
Yes ! Shall I book you a bed Patty ?
 
Re: And now, a word from our sponsor... by peripatetically on 18 May 2009 5:03pm
 
NO!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA
 



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