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THE CHATTER BOX

 
  
  
  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
  
  
  
 
Messages 1 2 

Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by Ahren on 30 May 2005 11:56pm
 
50. Gone crazy, be back soon!
51. The liver is evil and must be punished
52. I have the body of a god (Buddha)
53. Earth first, we'll screw up the other planets later
54. (One for my dad) I am 18 with 23 years of experience
55. If winners never quit and quitters never win, whos the fool who said quit while you're winning?
56. If people from Moscow are called Muscovites, why arent people from Paris called Parisites?
 
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by kristinekm on 31 May 2005 1:55am
 
57. The English Language

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.
 
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by beccles on 2 June 2005 11:12am
 
this is a spike milligan quote:

I have the body of an 18 year old... I keep it in the fride


love the poem kristine!
 
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by harvey123 on 2 June 2005 12:32pm
 
fantastic poem kristinekm
~Nicola
 
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by Diamond on 6 June 2005 10:15pm
 
if you see someone without a smile give them one of yours
 
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by Spursfan on 6 June 2005 10:20pm
 
Aaah that's really nice, Di!!

Anne
 
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by kristinekm on 6 June 2005 11:21pm
 
Go home troll! You're not the real one since it's Richarddavids in the vitals.
 
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by Spursfan on 6 June 2005 11:22pm
 
Mmmm - knew it!

There should be something like garlic to keep them away, lol!!!

Anne
 
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by beccles on 7 June 2005 9:25am
 
or possibly a crucifix? or a sign saying 'no people with an IQ of less than 12 beyond this point'

-bec:)
 
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by Ahren on 7 June 2005 9:16pm
 
Shoot, i'll be off then!!
 
Messages 1 2 




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