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  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
Dead Party Sketch by sminobe on 26 June 2009 8:41pm
I've been gone quite awhile, but I just recently finished this sketch & thought I'd share it. Enjoy!

Voter: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint. 'Ello, Miss?

Congressman (R-NO): What dí you mean "Miss"?

Voter: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Congressman (R-NO): Sorry, we're closin' for recess.

Voter: Never mind that, old man. I wish to complain about this Party what I registered for not Ďalf an hour ago from this very boutique.

Congressman (R-NO): Oh yes, the GOP. What's wrong with it?

Voter: I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it.

Congressman (R-NO): No, no, itís restiní, look.

Voter: Look, bubba, I know a dead Party when I see one, and I'm lookiní at one right now.

Congressman (R-NO): No, no, it's not dead, it's restin'.

Voter: Restiní?

Congressman (R-NO): Yeah. Remarkable Party, the GOP -- beautiful hairpiece, innit?

Voter: The hairpiece don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Congressman (R-NO): No no, itís restiní.

Voter: All right then, if it's restin' I'll wake it up. (shouts into the box) 'Ello, Party! I've got a nice lobbyist for you when you wake up, GOP!

(Congressman hits the box)

Congressman (R-NO): There, it moved.

Voter: No, it didn't -- that was you pushiní the box!

Congressman (R-NO): I did not!!

Voter: Yes, you did! (takes Party out of the box and shouts in its ear) 'ELLO, PARTY!! PARTY!! (thumps its policy on the counter) REPUBLICAN PARTY!! WAKE UP, GOP!! (throws it up in the air and watches it plummet in the polls) Now that's what I call a dead Party.

Congressman (R-NO): No, no, it's stunned.

Voter: Look, old man, Iíve Ďad just about enough of this. That Party is definitely deceased. And when I registered for it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its lack of policy-makiní was due to it bein' tired and shagged out after a long Presidential campaign.

Congressman (R-NO): Well, itís probably pining for PAC donations.

Voter: PININ' FOR PAC DONATIONS?! What kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall back on its promises the moment I got Ďome?

Congressman (R-NO): The GOP prefers kickbacks on its promises. Itís a beautiful Party, lovely hairpieceÖ

Voter: Look, I took the liberty of examining that Party, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its platform in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

Congressman (R-NO): Well, of course it was nailed there -- otherwise it would have muscled over the aisle and VOOM!

Voter: Look bubba, this Party wouldn't "VOOM" if I put four thousand volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!

Congressman (R-NO): Itís not -- it's pining!

Voter: It's not pinin', it's passed on! This Party is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late Party! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to its platform it'd be pushing up the daisies! Itís rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARTY!!

Congressman (R-NO): Well, I'd better replace it, thenÖ

Voter: (aside) If you want to get anythin' done in this country, youíve got to complain until youíre Red in the State.

Congressman (R-NO): Sorry pal, we're all out of Parties.

Voter: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Congressman (R-NO): Iíve got a radio talk show host.

Voter: Does it talk -- intelligently?

Congressman (R-NO): Not really, no.

Voter: Well, it's scarcely a replacement then, is it?

Re: Dead Party Sketch by mrsthing on 28 June 2009 8:32pm
You nailed it...er, so to speak. LOL!
Re: Dead Party Sketch by bIG bLOGGER on 29 June 2009 3:49pm
Dead Parrot Sketch....Dead Party Sketch....what's coming next.....?
Re: Dead Party Sketch by mrsthing on 29 June 2009 9:38pm

"Dead Potty Sketch"?
"Dead Panty Sketch"?
"Dead Farty Sketch"?

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