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THE CHATTER BOX

 
  
  
  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
  
  
  
 
It's Not Dead Yet Sketch by sminobe on 26 June 2009 8:44pm
 
And the obvious sequel...
-SLM-
===================================

SCENE: A Main Street in Anytown, USA. Foreclosure signs everywhere. People without healthcare coverage (& even many who do) crawl through piles & piles of paperwork strewn over lawns & sidewalks. Acrid smoke rises from unregulated industrial processing plants. A terrible cacophony of moaning, groaning, coughing, wheezing & radio talk show hosts’ squeals of rage fills the air.

Pollster: [with his ACORN minions wheeling a cartload of broken dreams down the cluttered street, dodging the suffering throng, & with his voice raised loudly & clearly to the Heavens (while Tweeting on his Blackberry)…]

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD! [AIG is dumped onto the cart]

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD! [Palin & Gingrich roll past, locked in combat]

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD! [pass by Limbaugh who’s on all fours, gobbing up bile]

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD! [pass by CNN who’s digging in a trash bin looking for viewers]

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD! [Chrysler is dumped onto the cart] Nine pence.

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD! [a woman, eyes empty & hopeless, pounds a “For Sale” sign into her lawn using a PETA protester]

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!

Voter: [carrying a limp, motionless GOP over his shoulder] Here’s one.

Pollster: Nine pence.

GOP: I'm not dead!

Pollster: What?

Voter: Nothing, here’s your nine pence.

GOP: I'm not dead!

Pollster: ‘Ere, ‘e says ‘e's not dead.

Voter: Yes he is.

GOP: I'm not!

Pollster: ‘E isn't!?

Voter: Well, he will be soon -- he's very ill.

GOP: I’m getting better!

Voter: No you’re not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.

Pollster: I can't take ‘im like that -- it's against regulations.

GOP: I don't want to be the Third Party.

Voter: Ohhhh, don't be such a baby.

Pollster: I can't take ‘im.

GOP: I feel fine!

Voter: Oh, do us a favor.

Pollster: I can't.

Voter: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.

Pollster: No, I got to go to the New York Times -- they've lost their last nine subscribers today.

Voter: When's your next round?

Pollster: Thursday.

GOP: I think I'll go for a walk.

Voter: [to GOP] You’re not fooling anyone, y’know?
[to Pollster] Look, isn't there something you could do?

GOP: I feel happy! I feel happy!

[Pollster checks to see that nobody’s watching, then clubs the GOP over its policies with his Blackberry, killing him)

Voter: Ah, thanks very much. [dumps the GOP onto the cart]

Pollster: Not at all. See you next Thursday.

Voter: Right.

[Barak Obama and Rahm Emanuel (banging coconuts) pass by]

Voter: Who’s that, then?

Pollster: I dunno… must be Obama.

Voter: How do you know?

Pollster: ‘E hasn’t got shit all over 'im.

 
Re: It's Not Dead Yet Sketch by BethGoth17 on 26 June 2009 9:27pm
 
That managed to get me smirk.
 
Re: It's Not Dead Yet Sketch by bIG bLOGGER on 27 June 2009 1:52pm
 
Dear sminobe,
In what year are you expecting your apocalyptic sketch sequel to come to pass...2020? Are you related to Mad Max by any chance?

Excuse me,I wish to protest vigorously about this woman using a PETA protester to pound a For Sale sign into her lawn....she could easily have used a mallet because that's what mallets are made for. All PETA people are up in arms about this outrageous action. PETA stands for People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals. PETPP stands for People for The Ethical Treatment of PETA Protesters.

signed--a committed dedicated PETA member.

btw: sminobe,while I've been writing this protest letter I thought I'd tell you that I heard that Michael Jackson has become very unwell,so would you be interested?
 
Re: It's Not Dead Yet Sketch by mrsteabag on 27 June 2009 10:07pm
 
Hee, hee, hee!! :)
 
Re: It's Not Dead Yet Sketch by sminobe on 28 June 2009 2:17am
 
Per bIG bLOGGER's request -- seems a bit mean, but here goes, Version 2.0. Or did I misunderstand what you were getting at?
-SLM-

;-)

===================================
.
.
.

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD! [Chrysler is dumped onto the cart] Nine pence.

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD! [a woman, eyes empty & hopeless, pounds a “For Sale” sign into her lawn using Michael Jackson]
.
.
.
==========================
PS: I miss MJ as much as anyone. Mostly, I miss the MJ from the 1970s...
 
Re: It's Not Dead Yet Sketch by bIG bLOGGER on 28 June 2009 1:58pm
 
LOL :Thank you,sminobe,for your timely correction/amendment. It is good that you take your sketch writing so conscientiously. You obviously have a talent for it,but have you found someone to publish you yet?

I applaud your gloriously carefree bad taste in using Michael Jackson's lifeless body to batter the For Sale sign into the lawn. Thus at least no living person was harmed,but whilst appeasing all the thousands of committed PETA members you have now gone and upset all the millions of dedicated and grief-stricken Michael Jackson fans around the world!

..it's a hard life being a sketch writer,just endless rewrites and living in a garret on bread,jam and water. :)
 



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