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THE CHATTER BOX

 
  
  
  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
  
  
  
 
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Did you ever... by Spursfan on 2 May 2010 9:44am
 
....'put your foot in it' (no - not some sort of animal doo-doo) as a small child? Don't know what got me thinking about it but I did - a lot!

One memorable occasion went like this. I had an elderly aunt and uncle who weren't related to us, but were friends of the family. When I was little Uncle Bill used to talk about his sister who he nicknamed moan-a-lot (you know what's coming, don't you?!!). He would say "old moan-a-lot said....". In my head I imagined it was a name straight out of my beloved King Arthur stories; Lancelot, Guinevere.....Monalot (as I thought it was spelt). I was fascinated that she should have such a name.

One fateful day we met the said 'moan-a-lot/Monalot' in town. Uncle Bill said to me, 'this is my sister' and I looked up (all blond, blue-eyed innocence) and said 'oh - you must be Monalot' !!

DEADLY SILENCE.

I knew straightaway that I had said the wrong thing. Nothing was said but we hurried away...

Well, c'mon!! Surely you can beat THAT!!

:)
 
Re: Did you ever... by Wild in Africa on 2 May 2010 11:02am
 
Way back at the start of my illustrious career in international development I was posted for 2 years as a VSO volunteer to Papua New Guinea in the South Pacific. At a welcome party in Port Moresby (the capital) for new volunteers I found myself chatting to a genial old English chap who seemed to know the ropes (which I certainly didn't at that stage). After 10 minutes of chatting or so I asked him, 'well, what do you do here then?' 'Oh, I'm the British High Commissioner' said he, to my enormous embarrassment and discomfiture.
I felt very green and raw to be sure!
 
Re: Did you ever... by johnnythemonkey on 2 May 2010 11:24am
 
I could quote a thousand but I'll stick to my childhood.

I live in a town where Catholic/ Protestant has always been an issue.

I'd heard my mum refer to a neighbour as a turncoat and was intrigued by the literal connotations but I knew it didn't mean she switched her coat inside out.

May was this woman's name and I sometimes played together with her son.
Him and I must have had a fall out but some adults in those days felt free to manhandle other people's kids. ( bad idea May. )
I said something like.." get yer hands aff me ya turncoat " Oh dear.

She was right down to my mother's door and giving it " He must have heard that from you !"
I think that my mum was speechless for the only time in her life. :)
 
Re: Did you ever... by kazzzz on 2 May 2010 11:31am
 
Well I'm not sure if this counts...but when I was 5 I was kicked out of Sunday School, for asking too many questions and putting doubt in the other kid's minds about Noah's Ark! Apparently I asked something about how did they have rabbits and lions on the same boat coz they would have eaten eachother. Hahahaha. The teacher told the parents I was disruptive and made the other kids question things! And THAT was the end of my religious education!
 
Re: Did you ever... by Spursfan on 2 May 2010 1:53pm
 
Keep 'em coming!!

When I worked for the local County Council in Youth & Community, part of the Education Dept, (of course all the names are changed now - it's all this Direcrorate and that Directorate now!), one of my staff was a lovely Dutch lady called Mary. She was really comical and would come out with all sorts of funny things which made me laugh (and also regaled us with moving stories of being a young child in occupied Rotterdam with an English mother!!).

One day, she came up in the lift (we were on the 3rd floor) and happily asked the lady she was in the lift with 'What do you do?'. 'I'm the Director of Education' came the reply!!! (in other words the boss of the Education Dept as a whole}!!!

Similar story to yours, WiA. But not quite so illustrius!

Kazzzz - just bad teaching for you. A good teacher would've turned your questions into answers if you see what I mean. And to me it just showed you were to intelligent to be taken in.

Our son Simon, aged about 8, once took a block of Cadbury's into school and sold each chunk off for 10p, which was about the price of the whole bar in those days. At the parent's evening where his teacher told us of this, she said how naughty he'd been to do it. I said no, he's enterprising, you should be worried about the kids who actually BOUGHT the chunks!!

:)
 
Re: Did you ever... by johnnythemonkey on 2 May 2010 2:54pm
 
Another story of me mortifying my mother I'm afraid to say.

When I was a toddler I had a mass of blonde curls. Apparently ( this is family folklore ) an old lady complimented my mother on what a lovely little girl I was and I piped up " I'm not an effing girl, I'm a boy. " Oops again mother !
 
Re: Did you ever... by Loretto on 3 May 2010 1:08pm
 
My fav Billy Connolly song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SguYlpm3ffQ
 
Re: Did you ever... by johnnythemonkey on 3 May 2010 3:50pm
 
Loretto, my bro-in -law ( Kate's husband ) played in Billy's backing band just before he hit the big time.
Tom was talking about it recently and he said that when they had a drink after the shows, Kate had Connolly and the rest of them in stitches with her craic. :)
 
Re: Did you ever... by Loretto on 3 May 2010 6:00pm
 
I had an entire live performance on audio The Best of Billy Connolly Live I think it was. Absolutely talented beyond belief the man, and funny as hell. If Kate had Connolly in stitches with her "craic" then she must be a riot!
 
Re: Did you ever... by Loretto on 3 May 2010 6:04pm
 
Speaking of wellies and keeping on topic. Many moons ago when I was a teenager my father used to have us round up the cattle and move them on to another grazing field. The fields were always covered in mud and shite, knee deep sometimes, so we always had to wear boots. Now and again you'd have a mad bitch of a cow trying to escape from the herd. One day in particular I was knee deep in me wellies in muck and shite and this mad bitch of a cow charges me, I was 15, I jumped out of the boots because I couldn't get them unstuck, and made a run for it in the utter muck and filth. True story. The entire herd trampled those boots into the muck, and I get yelled at!!! :-(
Woe is me.

This has been an excerpt from,
The Charge of the Shite Brigade.
 
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