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  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
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September:Mother in law meltdown month by mrsteabag on 6 September 2010 2:57pm
Make it stop...make it stop...
First we had poor Kazz's adventures. Now we're gearing up here chez Teabag for a round of our own.
We received word yesterday that Mrs. Teabag the Elder fell. One of the Misses T's found her and dragged her kicking and screaming by the pits to the hospital. The good news was that nothing was broken, but her electrolytes were out of whack (she's had major problems with her blood pressure forever and it's caused kidney damage. She's also on a truck load of other meds for chronic migraines and even more to control the side effects of the original meds). :P She's also unsteady on her feet and her continuing to live on her own is a disaster waiting to happen.
So, the problem is this: she just can't live on her own any more and is refusing to move in with either us (Mr. Teabag and me) or one of the Misses Teabag. Even though one is moving to Phoenix, Arizona later this month and will have plenty of space for her. A free move from Detroit to Arizona.
Mr. Teabag is going up later this week to join the Misses Teabag in a reading of the riot act. Those of you who have a spiritual practice of some kind, please keep us in it, or send positive thoughts.
I have had a lot of differences with her, but respect her for doing a great job with Mr. Teabag and handling some of life's bigger and uglier challenges with faith and grace. However, right now, she is acting like The Queen Mother of All Stubborn Gits. I understand her wanting to stay in her home, but she just can't be by herself.
I apologize if this is incoherent--I had about two hours of sleep, a really bad dream, and have been up since about 2 AM my time. Thanks, guys.
Re: September:Mother in law meltdown month by TERRY S on 6 September 2010 7:25pm
I wouldn't want to lose my independence, either. I don't blame her for being stubborn. Just because she's accident prone doesn't make her stupid! I should know, I've been prone to accidents all my life. I am unstedy on my feet due to postitional vertigo. I manage perfectly well when I'm alone, thank you. I think you may be over-reacting. If she's happy, leave her be.
Re: September:Mother in law meltdown month by mrsteabag on 6 September 2010 8:27pm
That's just it--she's not happy by herself. It's not just the unsteadiness, Terry. It's the problems with the kidney damage due to the blood pressure that's likely caused the electrolyte imbalances and is causing her to have to go to the bathroom every 20-30 minutes. Plus she had a lot of damage done to her stomach from the drugs for her migraines--she can only eat about two or three things without getting nauseated or having severe diarrhea. On top of all that, she's getting very forgetful and losing her hearing. She's well along into her 80's. And she has severe osteoporosois. So where a tumble for you might be aggravating, it would lead to something really serious like a broken hip or spinal fracture for her. On top of that, she lives in a neighborhood that's deteriorating rapidly in terms of safety.

Terry, I didn't mean to imply anything. I'm sorry if I offended you.
Re: September:Mother in law meltdown month by kazzzz on 6 September 2010 10:26pm
That's a tough one for sure. It sounds like Mrs. T senior deffo needs to not live alone. Hopefully the family pow wow will come up with a solution.
Re: September:Mother in law meltdown month by Loretto on 7 September 2010 8:34pm
Growing old is not fun. It has to be frustrating as hell to have all your faculties and know that you are loosing your independence! I have an Uncle-in-law, he lives about 8 miles from me, and he has alzheimer's, he's 84 this year. Happy as a clam when he is surrounded by familiar things, frightened and agitated when he isn't. He has full time live in care in his own home. Very expensive! Then the care taking takes its toll on the family too!

I lost both of my own parents when they were young, 59 and 67. So I don't know what is more difficult. Watching them fade away, or losing them young.

Mrsteabag, my best to you. Not an easy situation at all for you and Mrteabag.
Re: September:Mother in law meltdown month by johnnythemonkey on 7 September 2010 9:44pm
It's a hard one to call Fran.
Well not really when I think about it. I admire the woman's independence but she's taken it to the limit and needs help. I just hope that the family can convince her that whatever plans they make are through love and interest for her.
Re: September:Mother in law meltdown month by sighthound on 8 September 2010 2:20am
With all us baby boomers rapidly aging, there's a booming (no pun intended) industry in developing new ways to keep us in our homes. NPR has been doing a whole series on this. Here's a link to some new technologies: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=129104664

And go to npr.org and put "home care for aging baby boomers" into search and you'll find a lot more.

My cousins and I are planning to develop a family compound where we can each have our own private cottages but will, theoretically, be able to compensate for each others' disabilities as we age and pool our resources to hire people to take care of what we can't.

Some assisted living places are getting quite nice now but I've never seen one that could accommodate our family's excessive love of animals and extraordinary food.

Good Luck, Fran!
Re: September:Mother in law meltdown month by mrsteabag on 8 September 2010 3:41pm
(((Everyone))), thanks for the kind words. Geraldine, I like the idea of the family compound and will check out the resources.

MrsT. senior is slated to be discharged today. They've been doing more tests to find out what's causing the severe diarrhea. I'm trying to keep myself busy and not dwell on the possibilities.
Re: September:Mother in law meltdown month by mrsteabag on 9 September 2010 5:12pm
Correction: she was kept in hospital for a colonoscopy this morning. Evidently, she'd been passing a lot of blood. My two best guesses are that it's either chronic irritation from the medications or....we won't go there.

However, I think we can rule out prostate issues. ;)

Geraldine, I checked the link--nice to know the options are out there. Thanks, hon!
Re: September:Mother in law meltdown month by perfectbitch on 9 September 2010 6:24pm
Old age is certainly no fun. I hope an effective care package can be achieved for her, whatever the state of play.

Thinking of you and yours.

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