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  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
Messages 1 2 

Defend yourselves (fave fruit) by kristinekm on 17 May 2005 12:04am
Remember the fruit sketch?

Which piece of fruit would you most like to eat and how will you defend yourself if a madman wants to attack you with it? :)

It think I will, stun the the madman with my amazing intellect take the Mango peel it eat it and voila :)

nah - just kidding my intellect is not that amzing - he will of course be stunned by my - er.. charm?

Re: Defend yourselves (fave fruit) by canaveralgumby on 17 May 2005 4:29am
You can defend yourself with mango(e?)s by letting them lay on the ground until they rot. We have whole streets where I live that smell like dirty gym socks for a month at a time.
Re: Defend yourselves (fave fruit) by Sky on 17 May 2005 10:15am
Grapes with seeds in 'em. If the madman is anything like me he'll choke on the darn things! lol
Re: Defend yourselves (fave fruit) by Katie J on 17 May 2005 10:42am
Get a half lemon...squeeze it a bit ...then gleefully stick on the assailant's nose and rub HARD! You must do an evil laugh at the same time...

If one is handy, poor a bag of icing sugar over their head to finish the job.

Run away afterwards as fast as possible! Before they can lick it all off and catch you with their banana boomerang!

(although my favourite fruit is passion fruit....I could just look at the assailant (with a *wink*!) and tell them this...I'm sure that would get them running away quite quickly!!).
Re: Defend yourselves (fave fruit) by beccles on 17 May 2005 10:43am
i suppose a pointed stick is out of the question?
Re: Defend yourselves (fave fruit) by Wild in Africa on 17 May 2005 10:45am
One thinks of the 'Aussieism': "Getting the rough end of the pineapple" and one wonders how and where?
Re: Defend yourselves (fave fruit) by ursi on 17 May 2005 11:28am
I love the self-defence-sketch! I think of it quite often during my aikido training. One time when my trainer was showing us some way of getting control over someone who attacks you, and he was holding a guy down to the ground and said: "Now there's really not much he can do..." I almos shouted out "What if he had a pointed stick?!" I know my trainer is a Python-fan too, so he probably would have laughed, but it still would have seemed quite strange to everyone else.

However, my favorite fruit is and will always be the strawberry. I love the strawberry and the strawberry loves me, so if some evil madman will attack me with it, he will soon regret this decision, cause as soon as the strawberry sees me, it will be on my side. After the strawberry and me have defeated the evil madman with our combined powers of strawberryness and aikido, I will of course eat the strawberry. :)
Re: Defend yourselves (fave fruit) by intrepid on 17 May 2005 12:09pm
I WAS attacked with a banana, by my college roommate. I am pleased and smug to say that I think that I got the better of the encounter (and my roommate was also into Aikido, by the way). He got a couple of stabs in but I was able to bite off the large stem and spit it at my assailant. He never tried it again. Things were different between us after that, I can tell you.
But if somebody challenged me to a duel, my produce of choice would be a leek. Hmm, but fruit, I don't know. A watermelon's no good in a quick draw, and while you can conceal cherries pretty easily, they aren't much use farther than 3 meters, 4 if they're marachino. If you're out to intimidate, a grapefruit is what you want.
Re: Defend yourselves (fave fruit) by harvey123 on 17 May 2005 1:12pm
INTREPID~ i understand the dilemma which you are forced to face when choosing a weapon of fruity choice ...
may i suggest that you do not go down the 'grapefruit' route it can get messy and alittle exspensive when firing off several rounds .. i think a satsuma may work best in your situation..the zest from the peel has an incredible effect when fighting of the enemy i often see them running of screaming 'my eyes..my eyes....it burns'
Re: Defend yourselves (fave fruit) by Ahren on 17 May 2005 8:42pm
mmmmmmmmmm Watermelon..........
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