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  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
Messages 1 2 

Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by Diamond on 25 May 2005 10:57pm

> 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious
> differences.
> He thought he was God and I didn't.
> 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every
> minute of it.
> 3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend
> on Me!
> 4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal
> to kill them.
> 5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
> 6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out
> alive.
> 7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk
> to me
> 8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
> 9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
> 10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just
> missing.
> 11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
> 12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy,
> why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
> medicine.
> 13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
> 14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
> 15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
> 16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
> 17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being
> under it!
> 18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to
> Be When I Grew up.
> 19.. Procrastinate Now!
> 20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want
> Fries With That?
> 21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
> 22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a
> cash advance
> 23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
> 24..They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was
> already taken.
> 25..He with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
> 26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses
> up three thousand
> times the memory.
> 27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a
> lifetime commitment for a
> pig.
> 28.. The trouble with life is there's no background
> music.
> 29.. The original point and click interface was a
> Smith and Wesson.
> 30.. I smile! because I don't know what the hell is
> going on.
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by kristinekm on 26 May 2005 1:15am
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by canaveralgumby on 26 May 2005 7:08am
Very good!

31. Dyslexics of the world untie!

32. Better living through denial.

33. I'd give up chocolate, but I'M NO QUITTER.

34. There's a thin healthy woman inside me screaming to get out, but I can usually shut her up with a cookie.

35. "If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there." - George Harrison
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by purple on 26 May 2005 8:51am
Some pearls of wisdom:
36. Always borrow from a pessimist, they never expect it back anyhow
37. Don't talk about yourself, it will be done when you leave the room
38. If at first you don't succeed, try taking nude photos of influential people in compromising posistions
39. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday...lying in hospital, dying of nothing
40. Love your enemies, in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by beccles on 26 May 2005 1:33pm
41. A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

42. Martyrdom: The only way a man can become famous without ability.

43. A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

44. Hermits have no peer pressure

45. There are three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus; he doesn't believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.

46. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

47. Never put off until tomorrow what can be put off to the day after tomorrow just as well.

48. If I should die think only this of me: That in some corner of a foreign field there lies a plagiarist.

Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by bsh1878 on 26 May 2005 9:34pm
thats nuts! i'm crying with laughter and it hurts!
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by canaveralgumby on 28 May 2005 4:24am
beccles, is there a credit for the quote about "seasickness......tree" ?
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by missfrog on 28 May 2005 12:53pm
Number 47 is precisely what my mother cannot understand... It's a shame...
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by beccles on 28 May 2005 3:16pm
canaveralgumby, i think the "seasickness under a tree" quote comes from the goon show.
Re: Thirty Lines to Make You Smile by Miss-M on 28 May 2005 3:55pm
49. Nobody is perfect. I am nobody. Therefore I am perfect!
Messages 1 2 

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