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| Headlines from the year 2029
by canaveralgumby on 13 January 2006 7:19pm |
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(I didn't make this up.)
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
livestock.
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-years, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines. |
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| Re: Headlines from the year 2029
by tucsonmike on 13 January 2006 9:53pm |
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LOL! This is creative! And all of us Yanks will be poor by then.
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| Re: Headlines from the year 2029
by riderofthepurplesage on 14 January 2006 12:43am |
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Is Time Travel a thing of the past?
What was the best thing BEFORE sliced Bread?
How did the chicken cross the road? |
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| Re: Headlines from the year 2029
by Helen on 14 January 2006 1:00am |
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| before the Ramones, there was nothing. |
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| Re: Headlines from the year 2029
by tucsonmike on 14 January 2006 2:45am |
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The best thing before sliced bread? Hardtack aboard a British naval vessel or a soldier (either side) either side in the American Civil War.
The Chicken didn't cross the road. It was hit by a semi! OUCH!
Before the Ramones, there was Giacomo Puccini. My father will ask about a popular musical group. We'll tell him, don't worry Dad, it's Post Puccini.
(Puccini died in 1929).
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| Re: Headlines from the year 2029
by George on 14 January 2006 7:10pm |
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The Rolling Stones begin world tour.
Prague wins the NBA championship.
Thoroghbred horses are now given the right to vote and hold office.
Holodeck vacations are forcing the cruise lines to cut back on service.
Scientists now claim to have proof of Global Warming, but aren't sure.
Rice University wins the national championship in football. |
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| Re: Headlines from the year 2029
by tucsonmike on 15 January 2006 5:03am |
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Actually George, I figured Vilna, Prague, Zagreb, and Belgrade would be the final for for the renamed IBA. The Bulls will move to New York and become the New York Bulls, named for the Stock Exchange. The Washington Wizards will be renamed the Nationals (like the baseball team) and will also be owned by an International Conglomorate.
The Rucker Basketball tournament in Harlem will be bought by Ted Turner and moved to Atlanta. Ted Turner now owns Hartsdale Airport and brings athletes in from everywhere. Turner has junior teams worldwide. The Atlanta Hawks are now the third major team in the United States, but still are no competition for the Eastern European teams.
Former President Condoleeza Rice (sorry ladies) got her wish and is now the Commissioner of the National Football League, which is spreading worldwide. She is responsible for youth teams in every country on the planet. Most Offensive Linemen are Samoans and failed Japanese Sumo wrestlers. The greatest quarterback ever is Chinese, brilliant and can throw accurate spirals from one end zone to the other.
There is complete parity in the NFL. There are teams in cities like Tucson and Shreveport, Louisiana.
Baseball? Hmmmmmm.
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| Re: Headlines from the year 2029
by tucsonmike on 15 January 2006 7:12pm |
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Actually January 15th, 2029 will be a serious day. The 100th Anniversary of the birth of Dr. Martin Luther King.
Since this is a site which is supposed to bring people together, honoring Dr. King might not be a bad idea. (A recent poll showed him to be one of the top five greatest Americans).
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| Re: Headlines from the year 2029
by tucsonmike on 15 January 2006 7:16pm |
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On a lighter note, I had to laugh. I received a letter in the mail from a publisher in Ireland. It was for a magazine called International Living. It is mostly for people retiring in other places. I had to laugh. I am at least ten years away from even THINKING like that.
Part of my reason for living here, is retirement to Mexico or Costa Rica if need be.
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| Re: Headlines from the year 2029
by purple on 17 January 2006 5:08am |
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| One important question about the future in 2029: will wearing socks with sandles still be a crime? |
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